Astrology is becoming more acceptable as modern spirituality gains popularity.

For some time, astrology has been divisive. On one side, people read their horoscopes daily, learn the signs of their family and friends and try to tip the odds in their favor with help from the stars above and the planets in our galaxy. But on the other side, there are people that consider astrology to be hogwash, and have little to no effect on every day life.

Despite this, the average person knows what their astrological sign is, and many can tell you what signs their friends and family are. Some can go farther and tell you what signs they get along with the fastest or the signs they don’t like and stay away from (which somehow is always Gemini and Scorpio).

The average person that follows astrology looks for people with signs comparable to their own, and feels astrology is validated when they get along very easily, but they tend to not look to astrology to better understand signs that they are incompatible with.

Look at it this way, you can choose your friends according to astrology, but you can’t pick your family, nor your work colleagues, teammates, neighbors and direct superiors. How should one go about understanding signs incompatible with their own, and how can one find common threads to bond over?

The twelve astrological signs are grouped into four elements—fire, earth, air and water—and the signs under each element tend to share characteristics. For instance, fire signs are considered to be energetic alphas and water signs are very emotionally in tune.

We tend to put people in a box when we try to understand them too quickly. Just because Sagittarians has a reputation for enjoying travel and freedom, doesn’t mean that the one you met necessarily does. Everyone possesses more than one sign. There’s your sun sign, which is the most common sign everyone knows, and there’s your moon sign, or your emotional driver, and also your rising sign, which is the sign people tend to think you are. Then, according to the time and place we were born, we have planets and houses in certain signs, which further dictates our personalities.

There are different types of astrology as well. The most common type that people refer to is Tropical, and the other is Vedic, and under that type of astrology, you may not be the sign you’ve always believed you are.

Also, certain signs are believed to get along easier than others, specifically fire signs with air signs, earth signs with water signs, and signs under the same element or two people that share a sign.

There are examples of astrology validating partnerships like Michael Jackson and Quincy Jones’ respective signs, Virgo and Pisces. Despite being polar opposites, they became a legendary duo that invented pop music.

On the flip side, some relationships would be projected to fail because of conflicting signs but yet they flourish like Beyonce and Jay-Z’s Virgo and Sagittarius, Steph and Ayesha Curry’s Pisces and Aries sign, and Barack and Michelle Obama’s Leo and Capricorn.

There are also relationships expected to work because of the compatible signs but they are not so harmonious like Shaq and Kobe. Though the duo won three championships in a row for the Los Angeles Lakers, their tension was palatable and they would later establish a friendship after splitting up.

When it comes to establishing a partnership with someone based on their astrological sign, sometimes the best thing to do is forget what you know in order to let your new acquaintance define themselves. And then take that new relationship as a learning experience for that sign.

For instance, if you’ve had a bad experience with an Aries in the past, you’ll have that experience in the back of your mind any time you meet someone with a late March or early April birthday. But forgetting what you know allows you to connect with an individual for who they are and not who you think they are.

One of the reasons people believe that astrology and horoscopes are nonsensical is because descriptions of signs can be vague and indirect and rather “one size fits all” instead of very specific. The fact that it’s not “one size fits all” means that the Aquarius you just met could be similar to the Virgo you adore in your life. The Aquarius on paper is rebellious and a free spirit compared to Virgo’s level-headedness, but their shared intelligence and dedication means they are much closer than you think

Also, each sign has a stereotype. Taureans have a reputation for being stubborn, Leos have a reputation for wanting to be center of attention, Libras have been called two-faced, and Pisces have been called overly emotional. While every sign has a bad reputation for perceived personality traits, they also have a good reputation for things that make their sign special, unique and also beautiful. If Leos stereotypically want to be the star, give them the floor. Ask them about their day or their weekend and give them the space to share. Libras are very balanced, so try discussing topics that have two sides to get a well-rounded viewpoint. The quirks of one’s personality are a turn-off for some and a turn-on for others, so remove the negative connotations and accept them for who they are.

Some signs that, in theory, should get along very well are sometimes at odds with each other, and also signs that, in theory, shouldn’t get along, become the best of friends or lovers and live happily ever after. With that said, understand that you may click with someone immediately or an amazing bond will take time, but as long as…